How To Write a Wedding Vow: Tips, Examples, and Ideas to Create the Perfect Vows

Wedding Vows are one of the more memorable parts of a wedding. They’re often times what people will remember most about your ceremony, and they serve as an important reminder to your spouse that you’ll always be there for them no matter how tough things get. For many couples, writing their vows is easy; it’s just finding the right words to say! But sometimes even with all this pre-planning, some couples still find themselves at a loss for words on their big day. Here are some tips to help you express your love for your spouse in a way that is both special and meaningful, while still keeping it short! 

What are wedding vows?  

Wedding vows are words of commitment, love and dedication between two people. The bride and groom exchange their promises to one another with their closest loved ones present as witnesses.  

A wedding vow is a promise, most often in the form of words, exchanged between two people when they get married. The marriage vows are the promises that a bride and groom make to one another at their wedding. The ceremony is usually officiated by a priest or other clergy member, but can also be performed by a friend or relative. 

The vows are traditionally recited by the bride and groom, but may also be spoken by one of the officiants if they are not able to recite them themselves. The vows are recited in front of the entire assembled gathering. 

Why do we say wedding vows?

Wedding vows are a public declaration of one’s love and commitment to the other person. They are often used in ceremonies during marriage, but they can also be said for any occasion when a couple wants to announce their intentions and feelings towards each other to establish their status of their relationship.  

What is the purpose of wedding vows?  

We say wedding vows because it is a ritual that symbolises our commitment to our partner. Language of love and respect, the words we choose to share on this day are often more important than the ceremony itself. This is a chance to express ourselves and our love in the way we want it said, not by default or tradition. The vows can be simple or complicated, but they are a way to share our deepest feelings. 

Wedding vow trends – IMG Source: by Oliver 

Wedding vows trends

The origin of wedding vows can be traced back to ancient Egypt, when the Pharaohs would wed their wives by reciting marriage prayers in front of the people to show their love to the people. The trend has been kept until our times, but some customs have come and gone. For instance, nowadays it is not necessary for the bride to wear white, and promise her obedience to the groom. The bride now promises her love and loyalty instead of promising to obey. 

As the wedding industry grows, so does the need for people to be able to write their own vows. There are many different ways in which people can write a vow and they vary in length and style. People that want a more traditional form of vows could consult an ordained minister, while those that want a personalised version they can either book wedding vow services or learn to write their own to be more original.  

The most popular trend over the last ten years is “I promise,” followed by “to love, honour, and keep you” followed by personal promises, while another popular trend is writing one’s own vows as a way to express oneself and their love in the way we want it said, not guided by default or tradition. 

Should you get wedding vow advice? 

Many people ask themselves this question. It is a personal decision and should be answered individually. There are many pros and cons to getting wedding vow advice because it comes down to the person’s preference. I feel that it is not necessary to get wedding vow advice because if you know what you want your vows to say, then there should be no need for outside assistance.  

If you have a specific idea of what your wedding vows should say, then there’s no need for advice. If you don’t know what to write and are very unsure about the content of your wedding vows, then it may be a good idea to get some advice. 

If you are unsure about what your wedding vows should say and don’t know who to ask for help, we’ll cover the basics of how to write your own wedding vows so you can be original and honest in your promises.  

Wedding vows – IMG Source: by Caio 

How to write your own wedding vows 

There are many different ways to write your own wedding vows. We recommend writing them on a piece of paper so you can erase anything that doesn’t seem right or if you have an idea for a better line.  

First, consider writing together with your partner and discussing what you want to say. This will give both of you a chance for input about the vows and should make it easier to write them. 

Second, we recommend writing in three sections: an introduction, the vows themselves and a conclusion to wrap it all up. The introduction should state who will be speaking first (usually the bride), the vows themselves should be what you plan to say, and a conclusion is a good way of letting your partner know how much they mean to you. 

Get ideas down on paper 

Start by making some notes. Having a great idea for your wedding vows is just the first step. Without writing it down, you’ll forget about all those beautiful thoughts and feelings before they’ve had any time to sink in.  

There are many ways to get ideas down on paper. One of the most popular is outlining what you want to say, so that it becomes easier for you to write your essay or story. You can use a table to break down your outline, so that you know what goes where. Another way is to come up with an interesting title for the essay or story before you start writing it. The first sentence should give the listeners an idea of what you are going to be talking about, while the rest should follow it. 

Write vows in stages

In order to write a good wedding vow, you need to have an idea of what the other person wants. You can start by asking them questions about their values or interests and then writing down your answers on paper.  

There are many different things that people want in marriage, but there is one thing they all share: wanting love from their spouse for as long as possible. People typically put this wish at the top of a list because it means everything to them! Find out what words are important to your spouse and use them in your vow. 

Here are some tips on how to get started: 

  • Write as much or as little of your love story now so that you can feel confident reading it aloud later  
  • Ask someone else (a friend, sibling) who knows both people well what their favourite things about them are and what they love about the other person 
  • Think of a few sentences that sum up your feelings for this significant other. Write them down and start with “I will always _________” 

Research other wedding vows 

There are many wedding vows examples online to help you write your own. One resource is the American Association of Wedding Officiants, which provides a free guide with samples and tips that will make it easier for anyone to compose their own personal vows. You can also look up other people’s vow ideas on sites like Pinterest or Google searches as well as use quotes from favourite love songs or literature passages in order to craft your perfect ceremony words. The important thing is that the words you choose reflect your own personal feelings about marriage. 

Practise saying them 

When giving your vows, practice them enough so they stick in your head. Practise saying your vows in front of a mirror and record yourself so you can hear how it sounds. This will help you to know what words or phrases take too long, which ones don’t sound like they’re coming from the heart, and which sentences flow well together.  

You might not want to hear each other’s before the wedding day but you ought to be on the same page. When giving your vows, remember that they should be personal, unique and meaningful to the couple. To make the moment memorable and emotional, you could try to practice your vows beforehand together.  

Wedding Vow Templates – IMG Source: by Habeshaw 

Wedding vow template 

Wedding vows can be structured or unstructured, and written in any form desired by the couple getting married. Which type of vows you should use depends on what works best for your relationship with your spouse-to-be as well as their level of involvement in planning out aspects such as ceremony officiant(s) and other similar decisions. There are many different types of traditional wedding vows to choose from, depending on your religious beliefs and traditions. 

Traditional wedding vows are usually very structured, and the most common types of wording for a couple’s wedding ceremony are typically going along these lines: “I take thee (name) as my lawful wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness and health, to love and cherish until death do us part”. 

A wedding vow template is a great way to start writing your vows, but it’s more interesting to hear about the quirks and raw moments in life, and anecdotes that describe you as a couple, so going for the unstructured form would be advised for the originality of the composition.  

Share personal stories with friends and family members who can provide their own experiences as well to help you make your vows unique. It’s more interesting to hear about what makes you unique than just cute anecdotes like “I will always be there for you.” Share an inside joke with them or talk about something that was important during the first years as a couple, and make them unwind, relax and have a laugh, while keeping it meaningful, special and short! 

Answer these questions to get it started 

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself before you get started to help decide the direction you want to go: 

  • How much time do you have to write them? 
  • Do you want to incorporate religion into your vows? 
  • How long do you think they should be? Take into consideration that 2 minutes, 20 minutes is the average and you would not wish to lose your audience’s attention. 
  • Do you have children? If yes, mention them and how they helped your relationship 
  • How do you want to pronounce your names? 
  • Who are the officiants involved with the wedding? They could help you with a few personalised tips! 
  • How much time do you have to write them?  
  • Do you want to incorporate religion into your vows? 
  • What is the tone of voice you would like to adopt? Make sure the partner agrees! 
  • Do you want to tell stories, jokes, be romantic or follow traditions? 
  • What do you love the most in your partner?  
  • What is the length of the vow exchange? 
  • What are the different elements you can incorporate into your own vow? 

Make sure to double check and consult your partner about their response as well so you both are on the same page.

Wedding vows examples and ideas to inspire your own 

Example of traditional wedding vows 

A traditional wedding vow usually starts off with, “I (your name), take you (your partner’s name) to be my wedded spouse,” and then you make your promises to support your partner in good times and in bad.  

The vows are traditionally said in front of the officiant, who is often a minister or justice of the peace. The wedding vows can be as short and simple as “I do.” or may include a paragraph of elaboration. Another simple example is “I will be your friend, partner, defender and lover.”  

Example of modern wedding vows 

It is hard to come up with a modern wedding vow example, as they are usually personalised to fit the couple’s needs and desires. So when it comes to modern vows, you have a lot of freedom in terms of what and how you want to exchange your promises to one another and express your sentiments, be it funny or serious, romantic or pragmatic. 

The first step is to figure out what you want. In most cases, the bride and groom will write their own vows, and thoughtful, heartfelt words are the best way to express your love and commitment on your wedding day.  

Short wedding vows for her 

Here are a few concepts that brides can use to fuel their inspiration and write the best vow for their husbands.  

“I love you with my whole heart, and I promise to be the wife you always dreamed of for the rest of my days. I will honour you, love, and cherish you as a husband every day as I do today!” 

Short wedding vows for him 

Here are a few sentences that can help grooms write the perfect vow for their brides: 

“You make me a better man, and I’m so lucky to call you my loving wife! I vow to always protect you from harm, and stand by your side against all troubles. I love you with all my heart and my love for you is a blessing. I vow to be with you and for you forever and to love you every day for the rest of my life with the same passion that I do today!”  

Wedding Vow Templates – IMG Source: by Maria Orlova 

What are the benefits of writing wedding vows 

The moment when you write your wedding vows is a great opportunity to sets boundaries and expectations for what to want from your marriage. It also provides a framework for how to discuss important matters like faith, children, and money. Finally it’s a way to express feelings that can’t be put into words in any other way.

Use the above tips to write an original and touching vow that makes both of you happy. Take this opportunity to think about what you would like to say, and what you would like to hear your partner say, and discuss these matters together. 

While you are here, think about what can you add to make your wedding celebration more romantic and create an unforgettable moment for yourself and your weddings guests. Perhaps by arranging a beach wedding ceremony, or by organising a sustainable wedding for all involved. 

Whatever you choose, check out these blog entries for more wedding inspiration and tips: 

Happy wedding planning!